This afternoon I read through a few of my old high school journals as research for an essay I'm writing and I found a theme: I spent a lot of time thinking about boys. I spent even more time wondering if the boys I liked liked me back. I analyzed whether they waved to me in the halls, if they called, if they made eye contact and I tallied up conversations.
Everything fed into this great matrix in my mind trying to determine: does he like me back? A part of me worried that perhaps the reason my crushes weren't giving me signals of reciprocation is that they, like me, were scared of showing their hand and all it would take is me showing them I liked them. I'd wonder whether I should go to their soccer games, cruise around their neighborhood on my bike (yeah, I was cool like that), or try to sit next to them in class.
Ultimately I realized, long after high school unfortunately, that if you like a guy and a guy likes you (or you like a girl, etc) then it shouldn't be that hard. You'll end up working to make sure they know you like them just as hard as they work to show you that they like you. You'll "coincidentally" end up in the same places at the same time, you'll find excuses to talk to each other and spend time with each other: both of you will be working toward the same end.
JP, my husband, hates it when I tell this story because he remembers it differently but... back in law school, when I first had a crush on JP, I asked him if he wanted to come watch a TV show at my place (we'd already been emailing about the show, he knew I'd gotten a new TV and wanted to see it -- it seemed like a good way to move things forward).
His response: I have to study tonight, but I'll pencil you in for next week.
What I heard: you're not exciting enough to skip/postpone studying for and I'm leaving my options open for next week.
I'm sure in high school I'd have taken his response as something different and I'd have kept working on him -- convincing myself he just didn't know I liked him. But (trying to be older and wiser - ha!) I instead thought "you know, if he was into you, he'd figure out a way to get his schedule in order to be at your place during that TV show... move on."
(To be fair, JP was a big geek first year of law school with grades in the top 5% of our class at Duke Law so... perhaps I'll concede he was studying but still... I should have been more exciting than contract law. Also clearly, things worked out with us (because we were both interested in each other we both ended up on the same team at trivia night at a local pub, we both stayed late, etc etc)).
My point is this: I spent a lot of time in high school making myself miserable trying to figure out if the people I liked liked me back. And if two people like each other, it shouldn't be that hard.
Why am I blogging about this? (here's where the SPOILER comes in so if you haven't rea d The Dead-Tossed Waves then be warned I'm spoiling it): I got an email a while back asking me why Gabry turned away from Catcher at the end of DTW -- the reader pointed out that Gabry promised Catcher she'd fight for him and when it came down to it, she stopped fighting.
The reader is right: Gabry did promise to fight for Catcher. Initially, I wrote the end of DTW differently; I made the resolution much fuzzier. But then when I read back over it I realized that Catcher spends a lot of time explicitly saying: "I can't/don't/won't love you Gabry" and Elias spends a lot of time saying: "Gabry, you're an amazing and wonderful woman who I love." I've mentioned before my theory on love triangles and I feel like Catcher represented who Gabry used to be and Elias represented who she became.
But what really mattered to me is that I wasn't going to watch Gabry put her life on hold and wait for Catcher to figure himself out, if he ever could. Catcher essentially was telling Gabry, "I have to study tonight, maybe I'll pencil you in for next week." And maybe he'd have gotten his head out of the clouds in time to take her out the next week or maybe he wouldn't have. But I've gotten tired of characters sitting around and taking abuse from people they "love" while waiting for those people to figure out what they want in life.
Gabry had to take the bull by the horns -- she had to grab life and that meant choosing Elias who was also ready to live. My personal feeling is that if Catcher finds the right person to love, he'll get over himself because that person will become more important to him than his internal issues. And yeah, maybe there's a chance that will never happen -- all I know is that it wasn't happening with Gabry and I wasn't going to force her to stick around and hope that someday it might. That doesn't mean they can't be great friends, it just means they weren't destined to share a great love. [END SPOILERS.]
Listen, I understand -- I write and read romance where a big part of the plot is about getting two people to fall in love with each other and work it out. Often times that means one person being in love and fighting for the other to reciprocate. I just feel like sometimes... there just comes a point where it's clear the two people aren't going to end up together and the one person continuing to fight for the other starts to look desperate and sad. It's almost cruel. I worry sometimes that there's a teen out there (like I was) who, when faced with the "hero" shunning her, thinks it means that he's tortured deep down inside and only the heroine can save him if she tries hard enough when in reality... he's just not that into her.
There comes a point that when someone tells you "I don't prioritize you," you need to listen. You need to realize you deserve better. I don't think you should have to fight that hard for love because love isn't cruel.
Here's my theory: if a person likes you, they'll treat you like they like you. They'll compliment you, they'll smile at you, they'll respect you. If a person loves you, every time they look at you they'll think "I can't believe this amazing and wonderful person has chosen ME" and you know what? You'll be thinking the exact same thing if you love them back.
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| San Diego at sunset |
1. So I just got back from a week long writing retreat in San Diego. It was kind of a whiplash transition to go from sitting outside in the sun looking at the water to holed up in my house while the snow and ice refuses to melt outside! I miss the warm afternoons! I had a fantastic time at the retreat -- really lovely conversations with smart, thoughtful and talented people. And of course I got lots of work done which makes me happy. I hit that stage in the book where I need to step back, re-organize, and then revise so toward the end I was doing less writing and more pondering/planning. I'm already looking forward to the next retreat (Branson, MO in Feb).
2. Speaking of coming home, what with all the craziness around the holidays JP and I had to put off exchanging gifts and when I got back to the house I walked in to find his present to me: bookcases! I can't tell you how much this thrills me! So this weekend I'll be re-organizing the books piled around the house. YAY! I realized just how dire things had gotten with my lack of book organizing a few weeks ago when I was standing at my local indie trying to remember if I'd bought a particular book and if I had, where it might be (i.e. which stack littered around the house). I'm still not sure this one big bookcase will be enough to set things right but it's a start!
3. Speaking of books... I just shipped home a big box of ARCs I picked up at ALA. So... perhaps I'll need another bookcase after all!
4. Speaking of ALA, I went and it was awesome! BOOKS EVERYWHERE! I also was lucky enough to run into some awesome authors, readers, librarians, booksellers. Honestly, it was almost overwhelming at times. And yes, many many ARCs.
5. Speaking of ARCs, Random House had The Dark and Hollow Places at their booth and were handing it out. This is slightly terrifying to me because that means people are going to be reading it soon. 
6. Speaking of The Dark and Hollow Places, for the first time today I realized that the release date -- 3.22.11 -- is pretty cool when you write it out like that.
7. Speaking of cool... did I mention there's still snow and ice outside? Like to the point where I could skate across our front yard? Of course the neighbor's house is totally melted because it's in the sun.
8. Speaking of the lack of flowers in our yard, I just saw the Italian cover of The Forest of Hands and Teeth. It's totally unexpected but at the same time I think it's utterly GORGEOUS! I think the title translates into The Forest of Death and Lost Love (any Italian speakers out there want to correct me?).
9. Speaking of unexpected, my birthday is this weekend. Usually I'm much more on top of this sort of thing but this year it's snuck up on me! I haven't even decided what to get myself!
10. Speaking of not being on top of things, I just found a folder of email in my email program from a year ago. I'm slowly making my way through it. I can't tell you how embarrassed this makes me!
11. Speaking of getting embarrassed, can I tell you how much I'm loving Dance Central on Xbox Kinect and how glad I am that our account is in no way connected to twitter or facebook to share the pics the program takes while you're dancing?
12. Speaking of dancing, I think I'll go do that now :)
A few days ago I posted a wrap-up of my 2010 and promised a look ahead to 2011. I've meant to write a New Year's goals post for several years ago and just... never get around to it. But this year I have promised myself and I will prevail!!
Over the weekend I took the time to sit down and write out, month-by-month, my goals and deadlines and it's looking fun (and a bit overwhelming)! Lots of things I'm super excited about and several challenges that have me just on the edge of scared (which I feel is a great place to be).
BOOKS:
 I have two books coming out this year. The first is the paperback of The Dead-Tossed Waves on February 8, 2011 and the second is The Dark and Hollow Places out on March 22, 2011. I'm super excited about this book (and the very first review I found said that fans of the first two books would like this one so wohoo!)
I've gotten a few questions about this book and I thought I'd do a brief FAQ:
What is The Dark and Hollow Places about?
Here's the back cover copy:
There are many things that Annah would like to forget: the look on her sister's face when she and Elias left her behind in the Forest of Hands and Teeth, her first glimpse of the horde as they found their way to the Dark City, the sear of the barbed wire that would scar her for life. But most of all, Annah would like to forget the morning Elias left her for the Recruiters.
Annah's world stopped that day and she's been waiting for him to come home ever since. Without him, her life doesn't feel much different from that of the dead that roam the wasted city around her. Then she meets Catcher and everything feels alive again.
Except, Catcher has his own secrets—dark, terrifying truths that link him to a past Annah's longed to forget, and to a future too deadly to consider. And now it's up to Annah—can she continue to live in a world drenched in the blood of the living? Or is death the only escape from the Return's destruction? Is The Dark and Hollow Places the last book in a trilogy?
While the front cover calls it "a Forest of Hands and Teeth book," this is the last book I have contracted in the Forest of Hands and Teeth world though I will have another short story set in that world (unrelated to the books, though) tentatively coming out in the fall.
How does The Dark and Hollow Places relate to the first two books?
The first book, The Forest of Hands and Teeth, is set generations after the Return (zombie apocalypse) and is told from the point of view of Mary. The second book, The Dead-Tossed Waves, is set a generation after the end of the first and is told from the point of view of Gabry, Mary's daughter. The Dark and Hollow Places takes place just a few months after the end of the second and is told from the point of view of Annah. Personally, I tend to think of the third book as more of a sequel to the second (i.e. books 2 and 3 are much more closely related than books 1 and 2 are).
 Are there ARCs for The Dark and Hollow Places and how can I get one to review?
There are ARCs! They're gorgeous (perhaps I'm biased...). However, I only got a few copies and I gave two of them to my sisters for Christmas (it's dedicated to them and it was super special to have the chance to give it to them in person!) which leaves me with one (which I'll hang on to for my collection). So as of right now I don't have any to send. If you're interested in reviewing one, please contact my wonderful publicists Meg and Jessica (info here under representation tab).
When is The Dark and Hollow Places coming out?
March 22, 2011. I can't wait!!
Any other quick questions? Post them in comments and I'll add them to the list! Thanks!
SHORT STUFF:
I should have two short stories and two non-fiction essays coming out in 2011. Because I haven't found any official mention of this online from the publishers/editors I'm keeping it a bit quiet for now but will def post about it here and on my website when I have more news!
I'm also super excited about a few other short stories I'm writing that will hopefully be coming out in 2012! I've really loved writing these short stories and I'm excited about branching out into new worlds with them! (It's at this point in the post that I wonder if I've used the word "excited" way too many times...)
FUTURE STUFF:
Nothing I can mention yet :) Lots of deadlines and things I'm really pumped about!
ONLINE STUFF:
When I started writing full time I spent a lot of time online (which I loved). I definitely felt more keyed into the online writing community. Then, at the end of the year I looked back and wondered if perhaps I should have been writing more and I spent the next year (last year) focusing more on writing. Which made me feel less a part of what was going on online. I'm still trying really hard to find that balance but what I know for sure is that I wish I'd kept things more up to date in the past year.
So this year I'm striving for a better balance. To that end I'm planning on a few changes. First, I plan to blog more. Second, I'm switching to a different Facebook page which is here (my goal is to shift everyone away from my personal page to that one). Third, I'm keeping up with Twitter. I just like Twitter a lot :) Those are generally the three places I can be found. Unfortunately, while I think Goodreads is an awesome site, I tend to not visit just because I try to avoid reviews of my books. And if you need to reach me for any kind of request (skype visits, etc) the best way to contact me is always through email -- I just tend to forget about the mailboxes on other sites (like Facebook and Goodreads).
TRAVEL STUFF:
This Thursday I'm headed off to a writing retreat in San Diego and then am off to another writing retreat in Missouri in early February. I hope to get tons accomplished though it's always hard not to want to spend all day talking to everyone else and soaking in all their collective wisdom. Then I'm touring in March/April (YAY!) and heading to TLA in April as well. I can't wait! I hear such amazing things about TLA!!!
OTHER STUFF:
A few days before Christmas my step-father passed away. This stunk for many many reasons, but one thing I realized is that the choices we make about our health during our life can have significant and lasting consequences. So this year I really want to concentrate on creating a foundation of health that can last me for a long time. My goal is to exercise more, give my body what it needs and be more mindful about what I eat.
So what are some of y'all's goals or things you're excited about in 2011?
So every year I always plan to write a comprehensive post about the past year and then I always forget or get wrapped up in the holidays. But this time I’ve promised myself: I WILL WRITE THAT POST. Mostly because it’s kinda cool to look back down the road and see what’s changed from year to year. So here we go:
BOOKS:
 The paperback of The Forest of Hands and Teeth came out in February and hit the NYT list for several weeks. You can read about that here. Almost a year later I’m still pretty stunned about the whole thing. Seriously -- this was a majorly huge dream come true!
My first sequel, The Dead-Tossed Waves, came out in March and I got to go on tour. This was massively exciting! To have the opportunity to speak to so many readers and book lovers was utterly amazing. I’m super excited that it looks like I’ll have the opportunity to tour again this year for The Dark and Hollow Places (out March 22, 2010) -- WAHOO!
I’m not going to lie -- I was super nervous about The Dead-Tossed Waves when it came out. That book changed so much from my initial idea to the final product and there were times when I detested that book (and times I loved it). I was pretty terrified to read the first reviews and I can’t really explain how relieved and excited I was to read that people liked it better than the first (and yes, I’m experiencing the same thing with The Dark and Hollow Places).
SHORT STORIES:
My first three short stories came out in 2010:
 "Bougainvillea" in the Zombies vs. Unicorns anthology edited by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier. This was the first short story I’d written since college and I found it a challenge. I’m so used to thinking of ideas big enough to fill a novel that it was hard to figure out an idea that would only fill 1/10 th the words (hence why this is my longest short story). I’ve been very very gratified by the lovely reviews and have definitely fallen in love with writing short stories!
"Hare Moon" in Kiss Me Deadly edited by Trisha Telep. This was my chance to go back directly to Mary’s world in The Forest of Hands and Teeth and explore another character. I chose Sister Tabitha because I found her kind of fascinating with a few scenes I wrote during revisions and wanted to understand better why she is the way she is. I really love this story (and hope to have it available for free in the next few months).
"Flotsam and Jetsam" in The Living Dead 2 edited by John Joseph Adams (read it for free here). This was my first story from a male point of view and is my shortest story. I really kind of love it.
WORDS WRITTEN
Several years ago when I started writing seriously, I felt a little discouraged because I’d dedicated a year toward my goal but didn’t feel like I was any closer. So I calculated the number of words I wrote so that I’d at least see that I was working and accomplishing things even if it didn’t feel that way.
Unfortunately, I’ve skipped counting some years but here’s what I have so far: 2010: 320,000
Here's the breakdown (though I recognize it's cryptic -- I'm recording it for my own future reference): DHP: 157k TGO: 25k F&J: 5k HM: 10k SR: 7k BK4: 76k TDE: 35k HGE: 4k ATC: 1k
This is down a bit from last year but is still in a similar range. Also, it was hard for me to figure out how much of The Dark and Hollow Places was written in 2009 and how much I’d revised in 2010. What I do know is that I’m learning my processes is to write more of a Zero Draft and then revise, revise, revise. Seriously, my cut file for DHP is HUGE and when I think about the original opening…. Yikes. So yeah, lots of cut words in my process but it tends to work out in the end (I hope readers think so too!).
CITIES VISITED:
New York, Baltimore, Chicago, Seattle, San Francisco, Orlando, Atlanta, Detroit, New Orleans, San Diego
Awesome readers and booklovers met: waaay too many to count. But this is seriously one of the best parts of the job!
CONTRACTS SIGNED:
Heh, I’m seriously looking forward to being able to talk about this soon J Let’s just say I have some projects I’m SUPER excited about and have already started working on!
GOALS ACHIEVED:
I’ve meant to blog about this before (and have even written the blog but not posted it) but waaay back when I started writing I wrote down my dream list of goals. These were the things wholly outside of my control but that would still be a major achievement that, at the time, I felt was impossible. What’s astounded me over the years as I revisit that list is how many of them I’ve hit. It’s always a totally surreal moment and, yes, I’ve had to pinch myself several times. This year the goals I got to cross off that list:
Having my name on the cover of an anthology. I can’t really explain why this was on my dream list of goals, but I’ve just read so many anthologies that I felt like having my name on the front would mean that I’d achieved a mileston. To have my name among some of the best zombie authors writing right now is a massive honor!
I had a couple of sales thresholds on my goal list and I hit those as well -- another huge milestone that’s changed the trajectory of the next couple of years in very exciting ways.
Another of those goals is in the process and I’m not sure how much I can say about it so… I’ll just leave it at that.
PERSONAL:
 Highlight: I got married! YAY! Finally, after six years of being together and two years of being engaged, JP and I eloped to the park behind our house and tied the knot on April 1. It was perfect and wonderful and I’m thrilled to finally call him my husband!
Lowlight: My step father passed away a few days before Christmas. This stunk and I’m sure I’ll have more to say about it in the coming weeks. The silver lining was that my entire family was able to be together for Christmas which is exactly the type of gift my step-father would have given us.
Otherlights: I finally joined the YMCA late in the year and have been going fairly regularly. Just like with writing, I’m a creature of habit and travelling definitely throws me off but I love our Y (esp the sauna in the winter) and I’ve very much noticed that what would usually be a very stressful time is more conquerable when I’m exercising regularly.
THOUGHTS:
For some reason, I felt more settled in 2010 than I had the year before. I think part of that was learning more about my routine: how I write, where I write, how important momentum is. I also focused more on the actual writing than the periphery things (which explains why my facebook page isn’t as updated as it should or my blog suffered). However, to compensate, I was way more active on Twitter, which I love -- it’s just so easy to chat and keep up with people on Twitter!
In 2009 I spent several months planning my launch party, designing giveaways, setting up my office and working on social networks and at the end of the year I wondered if I’d have been better served to have spent that time writing (or more of that time writing -- finding a better balance). So in 2010 I erred on the side of writing and while I may not have as many words written as I did the year before, the number of projects I have and opportunities has grown significantly. Much of this is because I’ve been super fortunate to be involved in several anthologies and I’ve LOVED LOVED writing short stories in between other projects. I’ve also been very honored to be considered for these anthologies and by the reader response to them. So far all of my stories have been set in the Forest of Hands and Teeth world but in 2011 I’ll be branching out into two new worlds I’m excited about!
At the end of the day (or rather year, I guess) I look back and I’m rather stunned. It’s still hard for me to believe that this is my life -- that I get to be so fortunate. It’s not always easy, but the rewards are immense and I’m so truly lucky to have the support of my family and friends. I’m also so awed by my readers -- thanks to all of you and may your 2011 exceed your expectations! You certainly helped 2010 exceed mine!
Coming soon... a preview of my 2011 goals!
I'm oddly particular about t-shirts in that often they feel like they're strangling me and therefore it can be hard to find ones that are comfortable. Add to that the fact that I've been going to the gym every day (and thus needing many t-shirts because I'm too lazy to do laundry that often) and you understand why, when I find a t-shirt that fits and is on sale, I buy several at once.
And it just so happens that some of my favorite t-shirts are from Old Navy (love the cotton, love the distressed look, love the fit, etc). And it also just so happens that the recent batch of shirts on sale were the ones with sports team logos on them. So I bought a bunch. Sure, because I live in Charlotte I got one for the Carolina Panthers, but other than that I chose based purely on color and design of the logo.
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| not me |
Which is how I ended up with one for the Indianapolis Colts (blue with a horseshoe), the Philadelphia Phillies (pink/red with a P on it - wearing it right now), New York Giants (blue with NY), and Green Bay Packers (I liked the green). Notice that there's no theme -- different sports, different types of logos, different seasons, etc. I'm telling you, I really just chose based on pure aesthetics.
What I didn't really think through when I bought these is that there are a lot of people out there who care very much about their sports teams. And walking around with their team emblazoned on your chest is an open invitation to chat about it. While I enjoy all sports and generally understand them all (and played several), I don't particularly have the time these days to stay really on top of things. Which is perhaps a mistake.
Because almost every day, someone comments on my shirt and asks me things about whatever team I happen to be wearing. I walked to lunch a few weeks ago and someone shouted at me across the room and gave me a thumbs up. At first I thought they might know me, might be commenting on my style (which I soon dismissed because I was in full-on author deadline mode) and finally realized that, no, they were fans of the Giants and I was wearing my Giants shirt.
Yesterday, someone asked me how my team did this weekend. I had to look down at my shirt (Colts) and thankfully remembered Barry Goldblatt had tweeted about the Cowboys beating the Colts so at least I could answer that question. The day before that I walked into the gym and the guy behind my desk mentioned something about my team and I had to stammer that I wasn't even quite sure who the logo represented (he let me know which was very nice of him).
This post is really apropos of nothing, just that I always find it very lovely how complete strangers become less so when one person is wearing something familiar to the other, especially a sports logo. But I also feel a little bit like a liar every time I put one of these shirts on -- like I should apologize to those strangers who do start conversations with me only to realize that what they thought we have in common isn't true.
And who knows, maybe they'll make a fan of me yet!
 I have a habit of giving books as gifts, especially to my nephews and niece. I was just talking to my sister about what my oldest nephew might want and she suggested his first Hardy Boys. So I went and looked it up and then I started to remember the books I read at his age.
Encyclopedia Brown. Boxcar Kids. Bunnicula. Nancy Drew.
I'm not going to lie, I actually got a little teary. Part of it was remembering how much joy I found in reading those books. But most of it was imagining the worlds my nephew has yet to uncover. All of these books! All of these mysteries he has yet to solve, the characters he's yet to meet.
 He has so much waiting for him!
Maybe buying books doesn't make me the coolest aunt, but that's okay because there will be those nights when he's reading late (with his lego headlamp) and racing toward the end of one book so he can reach for the next... I just love that in some small measure, I'll be a part of that moment because I helped start him on those journeys.
I can't wait for his adventures to begin!
I'm home! The Halloween decorations are down (okay, I admit, they're not put away yet, just piled out of sight). Christmas lights are up outside (another admission: they stayed up all year but NOW I get to turn them on!). I have a whole month stretching ahead of me of nothing but writing (and perhaps one more trip).
I've learned over the past season that traveling throws me off schedule and if I'm anything, it's a creature of habit. I have to get into a groove and any disruption takes several days to shake itself out. It's the same thing with writing -- if I take a day or more off from the book I forget what I've been doing... threads get dropped, storylines forgotten, little ideas lost. I had HUGE plans to keep writing through all the traveling but if there's anything else I know about myself, it's hard to hole up in a room and write when there's fun to be had (and for the record, I did write most days I was gone!).
Most recently (well, before Thanksgiving rather), I had the chance to attend NCTE and ALAN. First of all, I owe a massive thanks to C. Lee McKenzie, who was the point person for putting together a panel for NCTE that I got to participate in (you can read more about it here). Also on the panel were Cheryl Herbsman, Erin Dionne, Cynthea Liu and Kurtis Scaletta. We talked about the use of language, specifically dialect and misspellings and accents, in writing and it was fascinating. Everyone had such fantastic points -- I loved Cheryl talking about how readers assume her character is dumb because she speaks (as written) with a Southern accent and Kurtis discussed how he made his Liberian characters sound Liberian. The entire panel was just fascinating and eye opening.
As I mentioned in my speech, I was one of those students who always scoffed at the idea that authors paid attention or put that much thought into such tiny details. Being walked through the thought processes of these authors and the decisions they made with language and why just proves that a HUGE amount of thought goes into those choices!
I discussed how I came up with the words for zombies in my books which essentially meant creating a slang passed down over more than a century past an imagined event. I'm actually going to blog about it soon!
A few times I got to walk the floor at NCTE (basically stroll through the booths all the publishers set up) and naturally I was too busy oogling all the books to take pictures. I love books. LOVE books! So it was with a massive amount of strength that I was able to walk out of the conference rooms with armfulls of them (I had to carry my luggage home and I refuse to add significantly to my book collection until I buy more bookcases!). Sigh... I could have spent HOURS in that room with all those books...
This year was also my first time at ALAN and I fell in love. Essentially, the set up of the ALAN conference was two days of authors speaking... basically a new author every 10 minutes. I looked at the list of attendees and about died -- so many amazing authors! I couldn't believe when I saw my name next to theirs!
And the attendees for both NCTE and ALAN -- all booklovers! It's almost impossible to describe the energy that comes from being surrounded by so many people who not only love books, but live books and share books and spread the book love.
Of course, another big highlight was being able to see friends again and meet new ones. It's always sort of mindboggling to me to meet an author and know that I have every one of their books sitting on my shelves and I've looked up to them for years. I've been asked before why I wanted to be a writer and part of my answer is that growing up, authors were my rock stars and movie stars. Finding myself talking to them, grabbing lunch or sliding down the Jaguar Slide or sitting at the bar with them, is a massively surreal experience. Seriously, I've actually pinched myself several times.
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| view from lunch |
Also, there were giraffes. And zebras. Not at my hotel but Ally Carter's. I couldn't get enough.
I flew home from Orlando incredibly pumped up. There are so many smart and engaged and enthusiastic librarians and teachers and professors out there and I'm thrilled for the students who get to interact with them on a daily basis. I also got reminded, once again, how lucky I am.
Sometimes I just entrench into my daily life of habits: writing, despairing over my to-do list, etc., and then there are the moments when I raise my head and realize: I can't believe this is my life. I can't believe how lucky I am. I get to live my dream and it's because of the amazing people I met at NCTE/ALAN and because of such wonderful readers like y'all.
So thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
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| in Charlotte Thurs! |
I'm so bummed I'm leaving town on Thursday and won't be around to go see Darren Shan at Park Road Books (even details here)! Most of y'all probably know him for the Cirque du Freak books and I think he'll be signing those in addition to his latest project, a sequel to Cirque du Freak, The Saga of Larten Crepsley: Birth of a Killer.
Where will I be on Thursday? On my way to Orlando for NCTE and ALAN which I'm super crazy excited about! It's my first time at either event and I'm trying not to be nervous as I go over my presentation. I think one of the things I'm most excited about is geeking out with fellow book lovers -- there's really nothing more fun than that!
If you're also headed to NCTE or ALAN, come say hi! Here's my schedule:
Friday @ 2:30 in the Coronado/Durango Room 2: Why "Ain't" and "Gotta" Gotta be in Todays' Books for Kids and Teens with Erin Dionne, Cheryl Herbsman, Cynthea Liu, Kurtis Scaletta and C. Lee McKenzie who just posted a fabulous blog about what the panel is about here. I'll be talking about how I created the language I use in my world and what considerations went into formulating the words my characters would use (Unconsecrated, Mudo, Breaker, etc) and how I hope that influences the reader experience.
Friday @ 5:00 I'll be autographing at the Random House Children's Booth in Coronado Veracruz Exhibit Hall, Booth #733.
Tuesday @ 1:55 in Coronado Ballroom H: ALAN Workshop: Finding Mystery in Strange Company with panelists Holly Black and Marlene Perez.
Yep, it's that time of the year again: National Novel Writing Month! The thirty days in which people all over the world pledge to write a novel (defined as 50,000 words). Some of y'all may know that I started writing The Forest of Hands and Teeth for NaNo in 2006. At the time I was in the middle of writing a chick lit that had already been rejected once and had just started a new YA for a writing class a few weeks before but one of the "rules" of NaNo is that your NaNo book must be word 1-50,000 and not 20,000-70,000.
I was a stickler for the rules and so I started casting about for a new idea -- something to stretch my writing voice and take me in a new direction -- and that's when JP (my husband) suggested I write what I love which was zombies and that was that. A year later I sold The Forest of Hands and Teeth.
Did I "win" NaNo (i.e. write 50,000 words during November)? No. I only wrote 20-30k. I became unerringly stuck and ran out of time, etc etc, but I kept writing and finished the first draft in April, 2007. Did it stress me out that I "lost" NaNo? Nope.
To be honest, my goal wasn't really to write 50k words in a month, it was to WRITE. See, I've found that it's crazy easy to *want* to write, to *think* about writing, to *plan* to write but not always easy to actually sit down and write. It's too easy to find excuses in life -- to have other priorities (cleaning, exercising, watching TV, sleeping) and to put off writing until tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.
Furthermore, while motivation ultimately has to come from the inside, sometimes it's nice to have external cheerleaders and having someone expecting you to write words is the motivation you need to sit down and pound out some words. And once you develop that habit, it gets easier and easier to keep sitting down to write.
To me, that's the beauty of NaNo. Some people don't need the added incentive to sit down and write, some don't need the insta-community of like-minded folks because they already have a support system. But others need to have that opportunity to, for one month, put writing first and have a community of folks doing the same -- reinforcing the decision.
Here's my takeaway message for NaNo: why not? Why not challenge yourself and push? Why not delve into the task along with hundreds of thousands of other writers and take this one month to put writing above all else. If you find that it's destroying your writing, if it's making things worse... then walk away. There's no guilt for failing to write 50,000 words in 30 days. Writing is hard enough with pressuring yourself unreasonably.
To me the guilt comes from not writing at all. If you want to be a writer then there is one thing you must do without fail: write. If you want to sell a book, you have to write a book. And if NaNo is what it takes to motivate you, then jump in with both feet. If you fail, the key is not to give up -- the key is to keep writing.
So good luck to all you NaNoWriMos out there! Yay for putting writing first and regardless of the outcome, I hope all of you keep writing!!
Hey y'all! Just wanted to let you in on a few upcoming events:
Thursday, October 21 at 4:30 PM
Kinston, NC
I'll be speaking at the Kinston-Lenior Public Library. You can find more information here.
Friday, October 29 at 6:00 PM
New York, NY
The Princeton Club, 15 West 43rd Street
I'll be speaking at the Williams Club and reading from The Dark and Hollow Places (the first sneak peek!) and signing afterward. T
here should be books for sale after the event! The event is free but reservations are required -- you can email eventsATprincetonclub.com or call 212.596.1261 to reserve. See below for more details!
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Saturday, October 30
Charlotte, NC
Charlotte Geeks Gala
I'll be the guest judge for the Geeks Got Talent contest! There is a cost for admission and all proceeds go to Youth Homes, an organization dedicated to providing supportive human services to children and families. For more information about the event, click here. This is going to be a super fun gala and I can't wait to see y'all there!!
To learn more about the Charlotte Geeks, the Gala and to see me on TV, click here! I have to admit, I was SUPER NERVOUS about the whole experience until I realized that I just had to sit there and the head of the Charlotte Geeks, Joey, was the one to do all the talking. She did a brilliant job! Also, she organized to have some zombies, some trekkers, Bat Girl and someone dressed up in an awesome steampunk outfit. Joey totally outdid herself -- she rocks!
I love Michael Grant. I love his books and I think he's hilarious and thoughtful in person. I had the great pleasure of speaking on a panel with him last year in NYC and have been hoping that we'd be able to cross paths again. So you can imagine how excited I am that he'll be in town doing a few school visits and then signing at my local indie!
Here are the details:
When: Monday, October 12 at 4:00 PM
Where: Park Road Books
What: He's touring for his new MG series The Magnificent 12 which has been getting some truly excellent reviews. But I hear rumor he'll also be signing his other books as well!
 One of the questions we got asked while on the panel in NYC was about the limits of what we can and can't write about as authors (or rather, what limitations we feel put on us by editors, publishing houses, readers, etc). Michael discussed the interesting intersection between writing violence and the words authors can use to describe that violence and how often that creates a situation where something violent happens and the character's response is "oh darn" rather than an expletive. His answer has always stuck with me because I think there's a similar intersection between writing about violence and sexual situations -- how much more leeway I feel writers have in writing violent situations than they do writing about sexual situations.
If you're interested, you can actually watch the panel here. It was a post-apocalyptic teen panel featuring Michael Grant, Scott Westerfeld, James Dasher and me.
Hope to see some of y'all on Monday at the signing!
This weekend in Charlotte NC is a Tribute to Novello Festival of Reading! Here's the info on my panel, Saturday October 9th:
1:15 p.m. Young Adult
Carrie Ryan: Dead-Tossed Waves, Forest of Hands & Teeth
Karon Luddy: Spelldown
Joyce Hostetter: Comfort, Blue, Healing Water
I have a very deep love for the Novello Festival. For those of you who don't live in Charlotte (or for those who do and didn't know about Novello), it's a festival put on by the Charlotte/Mecklenburg library system (PLCMC) that began in 1991 (this would have been the 20th anniversary) and, as its name implies, is a festival that celebrates reading.
 I first heard about it in 2007. The day after I sold my book to Delacorte Press I found out that Libbra Bray, another Delacorte author, would be one of the guests at Novello and that it was happening that weekend -- less than a week after my deal went through. I couldn't believe my luck! So my husband and I both went down to hear her speak and nervously, I stood in line to meet her and I introduced myself and told her I'd just sold to the same house she wrote for.
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| ZvU - even back in 2007! |
She leapt up, gave me a hug, signed my book (yay team zombie!) and I walked on air for weeks after. It's hard to explain how awe-filled that moment was for me -- I'm such a huge fan of Libba's writing and I spent half of the festival staring at her and thinking, "One day, that could be me! I could be on a stage talking about my books! One day, I'll have a book on the shelves people might ask me to sign." And of course Libba was so funny and gracious and flat out awesome... she was so welcoming to me as a brand new author.
I always remember that feeling -- how full I was on the absolute joy of that day at Novello.
So I was upset when I learned that, because of budget cuts, Novello had been cut from the PLCMC budget. I wasn't surprised by the news -- I'd seen the signs, library budgets all over the country are being slashed and all told, a festival can be expensive and perhaps that money could go to keeping a library open one more hour or day a week -- a service desperately needed.
 Luckily, there are people in Charlotte who were unwilling to let Novello go. Who very smartly realized that there's a difference between reviving something that's mostly dead rather than all the way dead. They decided that when the economy gets better it would be easier to say "hey, can we allocate a little bit more to this existing program?" rather than "hey, can we restart this program that had to be cut?"
A professor with UNC Charlotte, Mark West, and a former librarian and owner of Black Forest Books and Toys, Pat Siegfried, worked tirelessly to put together a Tribute to Novello to keep the tradition going. Authors chipped in their time and hopefully the Charlotte community will turn out and prove how important it is to keep events like this going.
When all is said and done, I feel so amazingly honored to be part of the Novello tradition. Three years ago, mere days after signing my first book deal, I dreamed of this moment. I feel so amazingly lucky that it's coming true.
I'm so super excited that the Smart Chicks Kick It Tour starts today in Austin, TX! Wahoo! For those of you who haven't heard about it, the Smart Chicks Tour was the idea of Melissa Marr, Kelley Armstrong and Alyson Noel who wanted to put together a tour of authors from various houses (usually, if authors get to tour in groups at all they're all from the same publishing house but they wanted to break this mold). All told there are 17 authors going to 12 different cities over the next two weeks -- holy cow!! Only Melissa, Kelley and Alyson will be at each stop so the mixture of authors will change from city to city.
My stops are in Chicago and San Diego -- here are the details:
September 21st, 2010 6 PM
@ Encinitas County Library, hosted by MYSTERIOUS GALAXY, San Diego, CA
Melissa Marr, Alyson Noel, Kelley Armstrong, Mary Pearson, Rachel Caine, Rachel Vincent, Carrie Ryan, Margaret Stohl & Kami Garcia.
September 22nd, 2010 7 PM
@ Wentz Concert Hall at North Central College, Hosted by ANDERSON'S Naperville, IL
Alyson Noel, Kelley Armstrong, Melissa Marr, Jackson Pearce, Jennifer Barnes & Carrie Ryan
NOTE: for this event, it is free with the purchase on one book by a featured author or $5 without purchase.
Here's the full schedule. Here's the list of authors. And here's the blog where you can follow along with all the fun shenanigans (and get FAQs about the tour answered).
I'm just super excited about this tour because I love meeting and chatting with readers and I'm also pretty psyched to meet and hang out with such crazy awesome authors (I just started Rachel Caine's Morganville Vampires series -- why have I not read these before! I'm addicted!)
After the Smart Chicks tour I'll be at the Baltimore Book Festival and will post more details soon!
Other than that, I'm sick (which always happens after I hit a deadline and my body realizes that it's okay to relax and get sick) and working to catch up on all the things I let slide over the past month: emails, interviews, snail mail, etc etc. My to-do list is long enough to make me weep but I'm determined to prevail!
It's been the summer o' anthologies for me! First my short story about Sister Tabitha as a teen, Hare Moon, came out in Kiss Me Deadly, in a few weeks my short story set in Curacao (which explains where the term Mudo comes from) will be out in Zombies vs. Unicorns, and just a week ago another short story, Flotsam & Jetsam, came out in The Living Dead 2 anthology edited by John Joseph Adams! (for links to more information and how to purchase, click here).
Flotsam & Jetsam is about a group of teens who go on a senior cruise right when the zombie apocalypse happens (they clearly were unaware). Infection breaks out on the ship, two boys escape into a life raft and one of them's infected (cue dun-dun-dun music). I really love this story -- it's the first time I've written from a male POV and wrote something actually in the range of short story length.
I can't tell you how amazingly thrilled I am about this anthology and it's been getting a lot of love out there -- a starred review from PW and even Simon Pegg (of Shaun of the Dead fame) called the collection a "must for any self respecting zombie completist." It's packed with stories (44!) that are a mixture of reprints and originals and the author list blows me away: Max Brooks, Robert Kirkman, David Wellington, Charie Priest, Jonathan Mayberry and Kelley Armstrong to name a few -- there are so many wonderful authors!
Honestly, I'm still stunned I got to be a part of this anthology. And not just be a part of it, but have my name on the cover. I'm not lying, I cried when I saw it (I'll blog more on that later).
John's set up a fantastic website for the anthology here. There are interviews with various authors (my interview is here) and even free stories (you can read Flotsam & Jetsam for free here).
Yes, that's right -- you can read my short story FOR FREE! Yay!
I hope y'all like the story and love the anthology as much as I do. Being such a big zombie fan, I'm thrilled to have so much to sink my teeth into :)
Yay for Decatur Book Festival weekend!!! I've heard such amazing things about this festival and if the rest of the weekend is as awesome as today it will rock! I spoke to 8th and 9th graders at Decatur High School this afternoon and they were an amazing amazing group -- I felt like the luckiest author to be talking to such avid readers and engaged students. Now I'm all pumped up for tomorrow!
 On Saturday I'll be on the Zombies vs. Vampires Smackdown panel with Alyxandra Harvey. It's billed as a very audience involved panel so I'm really hoping a lot of y'all come out! The list of authors here this weekend is both awesome and intimidating so if zombies and vampires aren't your thing, I'm betting there will be another author and panel right up your alley!
The panel is at 3pm at the Escape at the Old Courthouse.
 I also got to meet up with friend and author John Bemis (whose second book, The Wolf Tree just came out -- the first, The Nine Pound Hammer, was so much fun) at Little Shop of Stories which is just one of my favorite bookstores. One of the things I love about this shop, other than just the ambience of it, is how enthusiastic everyone there is about books and reading. I pretty much love anyone whose first question is "What are you reading now" and then you can both geek out on awesome books. Terra and Krista were super helpful getting me to the event and just being excited about the whole weekend.
I'm not going to lie, it's strange to be sitting in my hotel room thinking "there are people out there who love books and I need to go find them and talk to them!" I also haven't eaten all day so... I think I'm going to find some book lovers to join me for some food!
Hope to see many of y'all tomorrow! I'll also be around before and after so if you can't catch the panel just come say hi (I might be wearing a kraken shirt... haven't decided...).
YAY! I finally get to post the US cover for The Dark and Hollow Places! I know many of you have seen versions of this cover out and about but they were still working on some tweaks and I wanted to make sure I had the final file before posting. But here it is! I am IN LOVE with this cover! LOVE LOVE LOVE! I love the model, I love the dirt and grime, I love where she is, I love the expression on her face, I love everything. It fits the story sooo well and I just feel like the luckiest author in the entire world.
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Here's the back cover copy:
There are many things that Annah would like to forget: the look on her sister’s face when she and Elias left her behind in the Forest of Hands and Teeth, her first glimpse of the horde as they found their way to the Dark City, the sear of the barbed wire that would scar her for life. But most of all, Annah would like to forget the morning Elias left her for the Recruiters.
Annah’s world stopped that day and she’s been waiting for him to come home ever since. Without him, her life doesn’t feel much different from that of the dead that roam the wasted city around her. Then she meets Catcher and everything feels alive again.
Except, Catcher has his own secrets -- dark, terrifying truths that link him to a past Annah’s longed to forget, and to a future too deadly to consider. And now it’s up to Annah -- can she continue to live in a world drenched in the blood of the living? Or is death the only escape from the Return’s destruction? Right now, the release date is scheduled to be March 22, 2011! YAY! Here's a link to a recent post about ARCs and who to contact to request one. Please leave any questions in the comments and I'll try to answer them all!
You can also pre-order The Dark and Hollow Places: [ Amazon] [ Barnes & Noble] [autographed copy from Park Road Books -- my local indie] (I'll add links to IndieBound, etc., as they come available)
Also, don't forget I'll be at the Decatur Book Festival this weekend and appearing on the Vampires vs. Zombies Smackdown panel on Saturday at 3PM! More details are here.
A HUGE thank you to everyone who's emailed or tweeted to tell me you're looking forward to The Dark and Hollow Places -- you truly make my day!
JP: Why are their containers of frozen water in the freezer?
Me: Because I plan on setting them on fire.
JP: Okaaaaay... why are their several of them?
Me: Because I want to use different fuels. You weren't planning on drinking that 151 anytime soon were you?
JP: I'm still not sure that answers the fundamental question of Why.
Me: Research.
JP: I'll get the fire extinguisher.
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| My first story in an antho! |
My first short story has been released to the wild! The anthology, Kiss Me Deadly, just came out a few weeks ago and my story in it, Hare Moon, is about Sister Tabitha from The Forest of Hands and Teeth when she was a teen. I've actually written a whole blog post about this -- why I chose to write about Sister Tabitha and what she means to me -- but I still haven't decided if I want to post it.
I always struggle with the tension between my belief that once the author is done writing the story it belongs to the readers on the one hand and my wanting to discuss why I made decisions in the story on the other hand. I feel like explaining things can get close to defending decisions and... I just don't know how I feel about that. I have no problem having these dicussions live at signings but for some reason when I write blog posts about the same things I feel like I'm just sounding defensive rather than informative.
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| Sister T's story |
What do y'all think? Should I talk more about the decisions I made when writing and why?
In the mean time, here's a taste of what people are saying about Hare Moon:
Carrie Ryan (The Forest of Hands and Teeth) offers a story about devastating decisions in villages threatened by the Unconsecrated.
- Publishers Weekly This is definitely another favourite. It is part of Carrie Ryan’s Forest of Hands and Teeth series. I have yet to follow this series but Thea is a HUGE fan and now I understand why.... The writing is evocative and beautiful about a very fundamental conflict between love and duty, history and memory and choices.
- The Book Smugglers I supposed I can't hate Tabitha now that I read her beautiful but bittersweet story. Fans of The Forest of Hands and Teeth series, this is a must read!
- I Just Want to Sit Here and Read For fans of Ms. Ryan's previous works The Forest of Hands and Teeth and The Dead-Tossed Waves (like me)... this is a treat, one that will hopefully hold you over until the next book in the series... As always, Ms. Ryan's stories are bittersweet, heartbreaking but so beautifully told.
- all about {n} Thanks for all the fantastic reviews y'all!! I've been so thrilled by the responses to Sister Tabitha's story :)
Hey y'all! I've started to get some emails requesting advanced reader copies (ARCs) for The Dark and Hollow Places. How stoked am I that people are already looking forward to it? Wahooo!! Thanks y'all!! I just wanted to let anyone who is interested know that (a) there aren't any ARCs yet (I'm still revising); (b) when there are ARCs you'll know it because I'll be jumping up and down on the blog and posting pics; and (c) I very likely won't have any ARCs to give away. I tend to only get a handful and my family has already called dibs (seriously, my brother-in-law cornered my mom yesterday thinking she might have a draft on her kindle (she doesn't -- if she did my sister would kill me)).
Have I mentioned how much I love my family and how excited I am that people are excited about The Dark and Hollow Places? YAY!
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| Me and Appa got some revising to do |
Anyway, if you'd like to review The Dark and Hollow Places you should contact my publicists directly and their information is under the contact tab on my website (under Publicity down in the middle of the page). They'll be the ones with the ARCs (when there actually are ARCs).
(also, I might point out that when I was copying the link to my website above I almost accidentally copied the link to the RockBand download of Do You Want To Date My Avatar - ha! We know what I'll be doing this weekend).
So it should surprise no one that I haven't been blogging or tweeting as much seeing as how I have revisions to finish so that said ARCs can be produced. Such silence will probably continue for a few more weeks. Sorry!
Thanks again for all the interest in The Dark and Hollow Places -- seriously, knowing that people are looking forward to the next book makes revising fun... or at least tolerable... or at least not quite so terrifying (actually, that's not true either, knowing people are looking forward to it does make the revising a bit terrifying). And thanks to the teen readers at the Terryberry Branch of the Hamilton Public Library and their librarian Pamela for a fantastic Skype session yesterday -- what a great way to end the day!
I'm not talking about the disturbing tower of diet coke cans piling up around my desk (though that exists at the moment -- I'm revising, everyone knows that revisions are fueled by diet coke). Instead I'm talking about other things... clothes, electronics, bottles of lotion (I'll be explaining that last one, never fear).
As it turns out, I'm someone who is apparently afraid of throwing something away that might, some distant day in the future, be useful. Of course, because I'm also not the most organized person, I tend to not be able to find said thing and usually end up buying a new one. This is why we have at least a dozen three-to-two prong plug converters (in our house you can never really have enough) and why I have a laptop from 1997 in my attic (complete with stacks of floppies brimming with old papers and short stories). In the attic at my dad's house I have every paper I wrote in college, including the drafts (which, now that I think about it, probably has print outs of what's on those floppies like my old short stories - score!). In my own attic I have clothes I bought with my first pay check as a summer associate at a law firm in 2003 (not only do those clothes not fit any more, why would I ever need them in my current profession of sitting around the house in PJs?)
Half the things I keep around are broken: all of the ethernet cables I've hoarded are missing the little clip at the end that keeps them plugged in so I'm constantly having to shove the suckers back into their ports -- but they work so why replace them? We have three couches in our living room currently because I can't bear to throw out a comfortable, yet raggedy, old couch that still works. In the attic I think I have every pair of shoe I've ever owned since college... even though most of them have the nails worn through on the heel but maybe I'll get them fixed one day (unlikely, we all know I'll just buy new ones). And OMG I just realized I still have Halloween candy from two years ago (JP wouldn't let me hand it out last year) and Valentine candy hearts from when I was in law school which is over five years ago now! Yet when I go to throw them away I think "They've stuck around this long..."
Sometimes saving things works out. I still have my original rejection letters from when I queried my first book in 2001. What's pretty cool is that I eventually got an offer from one of the people who initially rejected me way back when. I'm super glad I have that stuff to look back over and remind me of my journey to where I am now. I just found not only my first blue-tooth headset but also the charger (let me tell you how many times I almost threw away the charger but hung on to it JUST IN CASE I found the headset). I bought both in 2006. I don't think either works. Sigh.
So what made me think about all of this? The lotion bottles on my bedside table. There are fourteen of them. All of them (except one, the current bottle) in that stage of "almost empty but not quite and yet annoying to get lotion out so I should pick up a new one at the store to have on hand for when it runs out" stage. There are also five canisters of Burt's Bees Lemon Butter Cuticle Creme which I use as chapstick -- they're empty except for probably one "emergency if you scrape your nail under the rim you might just get enough" dose. Also, two tubes of chapstick, one of them has been floating in an empty vase for probably two years. Oh, and I think there are two more almost empty bottles of lotion in the hall closet "just in case."
Seriously, am I preparing for the apocalypse here? An apocalypse in which I'll apparently be eating dusty candy hearts and scraping lotion from old bottles? And yet, there is still some value to those lotion bottles -- I feel wasteful throwing them away. Fourteen is a little much which is why I was laughing hysterically when I went to bed last night after having counted them all. Fourteen! *shakes head*
What's funny is that this story will surprise no one in my family. My Psych 101 prof said on the first day that everyone exhibits some form of obsessive behavior to which most people disagreed until he started asking people to recite random habits: one person could only go to sleep if the last time they saw on the clock was an even number, another person could only set their alarm to go off on a 3 or a 7, someone else always counted stairs, another flicked a light switch on then off then on again. Apparently I hoard lotion bottles, shoes, and rejection letters just in case they'll become useful again.
When the apocalypse hits you're all invited to my house: we'll run away dressed as fancy lawyers with busted shoes, our skin won't be dry and our bellies will be full of old candy.
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