Someone asked me a while back why I mention that I live with JP in my bio. I was fairly surprised by the email (mostly surprised that someone would notice my bio and care enough about it to take the time to email me). I guess I never really thought that much about it when I wrote it, in the same way I didn't think that much about including my cats or dog in the bio. I kind of feel like a lot of authors include their significant other, where they live and what pets they live with. I always thought it was sort of the formula for author bios.
Anyway, it did get me thinking about why I'd put that info in there. I mean, I already dedicated the book to him and gave him a special shout out in the acks -- why also mention him in the bio? I guess this also dovetails into the question I'm asked a lot (esp from family) about when he and I are getting married. It's strange to me -- as if somehow our commitment to each other would be different if we had the state sanctioning our relationship. I mean, we share a mortgage -- these days I feel like that's a lot harder to get out of than a marriage.And yet at the same time, I know just how important that piece of paper (the marriage certificate) is because massive amounts of money, ire and time are spent debating which relationships get it and which don't. I feel sort of bad that JP and I haven't gotten married because we actually *can* get married when a lot of people in love can't. Why haven't we? Time (time to plan it much less when all the family can all get together), money (they're frigging expensive), the weight of expectations (everyone has opinions on a wedding) etc etc. I don't know, I guess I wake up each morning and go to bed each night not questioning my commitment to JP or his to me -- I don't need the label. I guess I understand why other people do need to be able to label us and it makes me a little sad that they somehow think our relationship isn't as serious as it can be because of it.
Of course, I didn't mean for this to be a post about marriage, I meant it to be a post about JP! Here's why I included him in my bio: because he is my life. We're one of those disgusting couples who can literally spend all our time together and we never get tired of it. He's an amazing man -- someone who gets up early to write because he loves it, who goes to bed late so that he can edit my WIP, someone who puts his everything into his job and clients -- always trying to be better. He's wicked smart (his law school grades would make you sick) and amazingly patient and kind (as shown by his care for Daphne, our brain damaged dog). He's a great lawyer and he's a phenomenal writer and I'm a lucky lucky woman that he loves me. He's also pretty darn good looking (and did I mention younger!?).
So happy birthday, JP and I look forward to sharing MANY MANY more. And yes, family, I promise we'll get married soon :)
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8 comments:
Dude. I SO feel your pain. My husband and I waited, er, eight years before getting married. I wanted to make sure we were stable, had a house, had careers, etc., before we got married....seemed as if everyone else just wanted us to be married. Now we're getting the "when will you have kids" line...arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.....
Haha, I know that question will come next!
Happy Birthday JP! May is an excellent month for a birthday, if I do say so myself.
Heh, I did it the opposite way. From the time I met my husband until we got married was four months, and of that we only spent about a week in each other's company. Whirlwind internet romance. We just celebrated our fifth anniversary.
Every relationship is different, and you can only do what's right for you. (And you're the only two who know that, so piffle for everyone else's opinions.) You two sound so perfect for each other, and that's what really matters. Congratulations! =o)
Aw that's so sweet. It took my husband and me 10 years to get round to getting married :)
We love you too JP!!! Wedding certificate or no. ;-)
Love, The Fam
Happy birthday to your honey!
My honey & I lived together for many years without any thought of marriage. Trust me, getting married changed nothing. The great stuff was *already there* and that was what mattered. When we finally did get married, it was more like a romantic expression of everything we already had -- and a great excuse to go to Disney World for a week. I loved it, but it's never been as important as the day I first moved in with my one & only.
The ceremony was small & intimate, we brought our own minister -- a very close friend we chose for her sense of humor and beautiful voice, rather than for any religious reason -- and we wrote our own vows, which were mainly about the kind of love called agape and, um, chocolate. Granted, our relatives were stunned to silence when the minister cracked the first joke in the vows, but a couple lines later, they relaxed and laughed right when we'd hoped they would. It was like a beautiful date, rather than a dreadful obligation.
And boy, I loved that kiss.
Happy Birthday JP!
Carrie, I totally understand. Science Guy and I have lived together for four years now and we're very happy. We're closing on a house together in a few weeks and all is wonderful. The family doesn't get it though. Both sides want us to get married and we probably will one day, just doesn't change anything. :)
I just wanted to say that you look really pretty in that picture of you and your man :) I'm glad you got a good one-me too-I love my husband to pieces!!
AND, I started reading "The Forest of Hands and Teeth" out loud the other day just for fun cuz he was wondering what the big deal was & he is totally into it! I was really surprised because he is so not into fiction, but he didn't want me to quit reading! So kudos to you for hooking a male non-fictioner!!
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