One week out...

A week to go. Less than a week actually. Wow. I was lying in bed this morning, thinking about it all and realized that I haven't really blogged recently about how it all feels (and yes, JP, I call this work... heh). And since I always wanted the blog to be kind of a record for myself about the journey, I figured maybe I should jot down a little of what I've been thinking/doing recently.


What I've been doing: making lists. Lots and lots of lists. I put everything on the list, including blogging (it's nice to have something you know you can cross off!). Yesterday's list included getting socks for Ireland. Today's list has interviews to fill out, people to call, business things to take care of (like organizing my receipts and turning them in for pre-tax med reimbursement from my old job and if either of my former assistants, Judy or Ellona, are reading this they're laughing and shaking their heads at me). 


Of course, most of the things on today's list were also on yesterday's list.  Blah.


I even have sublists. Like the list of what I need to get for the gift-baskets for the launch party. What I need to remember to take to Ireland. Addresses of people I need to send invites and a copy of my book to. Lists, lists, lists.


But the lists make me feel focused and calm. I realized that otherwise I just jump from one task to the next forgetting what I was working on and worrying about forgetting something important. The lists give me a concrete set of goals for the day and at the end of the day I can look and see what I've accomplished, esp. since often I finish the day wondering "what in the world did I spend all day doing?" (JP would posit I spent the day chatting with writing buddies... I call it gathering around the cyber water cooler).


What I've been thinking: AAAAAHHHHH! On the one hand, there's a part of me that's in constant awe that it all comes down to this. That one night in November 2006, walking home from work and getting an idea for a first line would lead to this moment: a book. Coming out. In a week.


I'm astounded at the amount of effort it's taken, the number of people who have been involved. My agent, editor, publisher, publicist, designer, typesetter, photographer (for the cover and my author photo), and assistants galore. Sales reps, sales department, web designer, booksellers, reviewers. Friends, critique partners, family. And a whole host of people I know I'm forgetting. All for this one little book! A book that I started on a lark and was convinced, CONVINCED, would never sell!


And the thing is, every book on the shelf has that behind it -- this entire production team getting the book from point A (the author's head) to point B (the reader's hands). It's somewhat overwhelming when I walk into a bookstore and think about what it took to get each book on the shelf!


In a week mine will join those books, all vying for love and attention. Ack! And that's another large part of my thoughts, the unending question of "if you write it, will they come?" Will people read it? Will they buy it (or check it out from the library) and will they like it? I've been trying very hard to remain zen over the past few weeks, to remind myself that it's all out of my hands now. That it's out of my control and that it's pointless to try to control something you can't (will only lead to frustration and insanity).


But that doesn't mean that I still don't wonder about it. That I still don't check new reviews on Amazon and wonder what more I could be doing promotion wise.


Ultimately though, I spend most of my thoughts on day-dreaming. It's what I've always loved to do. And really, I only have one week left to day-dream about the release of my first book. It's like, I used to spend so much time day dreaming about hearing from an agent or selling that first book. Now that that's happened, I don't get to day-dream about it anymore. So I'm a little sad that in a week I'll be letting go of that day-dream about my debut release as well.


Between now and then though... there will be day-dreaming galore!  And a week in an Irish castle... that ain't so bad either :)