Tuesday, November 11, 2008

inter-office politics

As with any job, my new job has its own set of inter-office politics. My boss (aka, my cat Sam) gets cranky if I don't let him strut around my desk and my co-worker (aka, my dog Jake) likes to antagonize the boss. This has caused quite a few fights but so far they seem to be working things out. Usually with my boss retreating to his cubicle (aka, a shoebox) and glaring at everyone.

The mail-clerk/runner (aka, JP's cat) tends to steer clear of office politics. I thinks she's just shy and likes to work on her own time. She'll sometimes have lunch with the rest of us, but she's not the type to stop by in the afternoon for a chat. That's probably because she and the boss really don't get along (there are rumors that there have been late-night cuddling sessions between the two over the years, but as of yet no proof).

The other day I was working diligently when I heard a shuffle behind me, like the sound of paper settling. I looked around -- my boss was in his shoebox, my co-worker was sleeping (as usual) but I figured it was the mail-clerk/runner skulking about somewhere. Once or twice in the afternoon I heard the noise, but waived it off as the humm-drum of any busy office.

As I was working late that night, I heard it again. I turned back and scanned the office -- everyone else had gone for the day (slackers). And I thought, really, how much could paper shift and settle during the day? Then I caught movement out of the corner of my eye, a leaf twitched in the wreath on the door. Usually, the wreath is outside on the front door, but with the Halloween decorations up, I'd relocated it to my office. It twitched again with another shuffle.

I walked over to the door and peered closer. I could see little tiny feet curled around the leaf and then, out of nowhere, a little green head! No one had told me we were hiring an intern! I ran outside to the porch where JP was reading and quickly explained that because of the boss's rather blatant species-ism, we would have to re-think the lizard intern. Unfortunately, it took a lot of prodding and convincing, but eventually the little guy was let go. Hopefully he's found better (and safer) employment elsewhere.

Apparently, no one bothered to tell me that someone, somewhere decided that we desperately needed an intern! And I guess figuring that lizards were a no-go, they decided to hire a mouse that wandered in looking for temp work. Unfortunately, I didn't learn this until too late and my boss rather violently terminated him. I was the one who had to clean out his desk.

Hopefully, the higher-ups have learned their lessons and will not be making any new hires. And as JP pointed out, I'm VERY glad I'm not in middle management. Things can get vicious!

8 comments:

B.E. Sanderson said...

ROTFL! That was hilarious. Sorry to hear about your second intern's hostile termination, though. Maybe you can get an aquatic intern so the other co-workers don't kill... er... let him go too soon.

Lenore said...

OMG hilar! My "boss" Emmy is always calling me into meetings that just happen to take place in my bed while I pet her. It is sometimes hard to get any work done!

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Carrie said...

Haha B.E.! I'm afraid such an intern would feel the environment too hostile and the boss and runner would never get anything done! Not that they get much done around here anyway...

Lenore - that is too funny! We have those kinds of staff meetings around here as well!

marcie said...

Thank you! I needed that:)

My boss (Rocco Thunderpants) and co-worker (Bailey) are sleeping right now. That's why I'm surfing the net.

Nancy H. said...

Let's hope the intern doesn't come later with a civil suit, claiming species-ism and asking damages for possible kitty trauma.